Video: General traits of each kingdom in relationships:
Often, we naturally choose our opposite. In Personality-Ville these two kingdoms would have no "common borders." In other words, neither gets energy the same (8 card) or make decisions the same (5 card).
When these preferences are not the same, we call this a "Harmony" match. When they are the same (example: 8 Energy Card is both: Extrovert, getting energy from external sources) we call this a "Melody" match. There is no "Best" match for this card/preference or any other Personality-Ville card matches. Any combination can work well, yet every combination has its possibility to entice our Dragons of Defects to come out.
Looking at these two kingdoms together, they can have a great "Harmony" to balance their lives. Let's say, The Castle is Kim, and The Cottage is Len. Kim is going to be go, go, go, always wanting to Accomplish something. When Kim does things Len's way, they both get to Relax in The Cottage way. If both were from The Castle, they would Accomplish much, but have a hard time Relaxing and stopping to "smell the roses."
It's the Great Maestro's Way that we were naturally created with different energy levels and preferences of doing things a certain way. We each have a natural internal tempo. This is the basis of the Personality-Ville Four Mottos Song: "Relax, Learn, Achieve, Play, keeps your Dragons far away!"
What do we each need? What can we not live without?
Find out in Personality-Ville®
Each of us has a natural preference of doing things and gaining energy a certain way. In today's challenging times, what can you NOT live without?
In Personality-Ville®, each kingdom has its own type of Royal Residence. This is like the four major temperaments of old. The introverts live in a calm Cottage and a cool Observatory; the extroverts live in a busy Castle, or fun Circus.
Quick Summary:
Cottage (introvert/feeling): needs peace, rest, and friendships. For the sake of the family, they can give up a lot, but don't ask them to increase their workload. Give them a day off in exchange for doing with less, and they will love you more for it!
Observatory (introvert/thinking): needs a sense of control and order. They can give up that new computer they have had their eye on, but don't take away their own office space in the house. Give them a gold medal with a personal inscription on the back like, "Perfect 10 for cleanest room."
Circus (extrovert/feeling): needs to have FUN and be the center of attention--this usually doesn't cost a thing! They could give up that fun trip to Mexico, but don't ask them to stop telling funny stories. The best gift you can give a them, is to listen and laugh at their jokes--priceless!
Castle (extrovert/thinking): must have a sense of accomplishment and control. They might have a hard time giving up their dream of starting their own business right now, but don't hamper their vision. Maybe now would be a good time to start a non-profit and lead a group of volunteers.
In today's challenging economy, many of us stop and ask ourselves, "What can I live without? What can I cut back on and still maintain most of what I had before?"
Some people, when in the mood, can really live on very little: They use bread sacks instead of plastic baggies; never go to the movies; buy clothes at second-hand stores; or only drive a few days a week. But there are a few things that some know if they "cut back on" it will zap precious reserves of energy.
Each personality temperament NEEDS certain things in life in order to thrive. Now, there are many things we ALL like, but imagine there is a little "energy treasure chest" within you. Each style has their own special things that "fill up" their Energy Treasure Chest.
People that live in the Cottage are easy-going, low-key, and people oriented. They need to have peace, keep the same routines, and maintain relationships. They can give up material things, but needs to increase their social interactions. Call an old friend and catch up--it's energizing!
In opposite style, a "Castle" person--who is an intense, goal-oriented extrovert--gets his blaze colored Energy Treasure Chest filled up by achieving things, and not wasting a minute of time. Castle folks can give up buying those "extra" things, but don't ask them to give up anything that saves them time.
Another extrovert lives at the Circus with a big, sunny yellow circus tent. Their treasure chest gets filled up when they are allowed to have fun and shine! They will really have a hard time giving up the new, fun, fashionable clothes or shoes, but can make up for that by joining a comedy class for instance. A must have for a Circus person: a dishwasher--they can be sometimes pretty messy! (It's just not FUN to wash dishes!)
Last, but certainly not least, is our great people that live in the Royal Observatory. These are the intense, perfectionistic introverts. Their energy chest gets filled up by having the very best quality items. They will have a hard time giving up the latest technology. They need to keep a sense of control and excellence--they also need their own space to keep very tidy.
The most important thing to remember is that everyone is not necessarily like you! Each personality temperament has their own tempo, their own rhythm of how they do things, where they get energy from and how they make decisions.We all can "visit" different kingdoms, but usually if nothing else was affected, would go to a predominate "home."
Like a song of four-part harmony, each style is needed. And, we all need to practice the "Harmony Habit: Sing your part to Life's Song and Harmonize (adjust) your actions to be in tune with others--treat people the way they prefer!"
To get a visual sense of each style, get the book Personality-Ville Treasure Map to Life, the fun poster, or playing cards at www.Personality-Ville.MyShopify.com
Understanding why you are disorganized is the key to changing. Here's a story of how one messy person finally got organized. Well, at least got better!
Two Proven Steps to Finally Get Organized: From a self-proclaimed “Messy Monster”
Two proven steps to declutter: The first step is always the hardest. Step 1. Repeat with us: “We admitted we were powerless over our clutter and our house, car, and/or office, has become unmanageable.” Join Dragon Drool Anonymous: admit you have the Dragon of Defect, Messy Monster. Step 2. Get drastic! “Simple: Don’t have a lot of stuff to organize.”
I had to take my own advice on this one. I am a personality style expert. I teach people to accept and appreciate themselves and others who are different. I even teach about personality traits from a playing card game I developed (Personality-Ville: 13 Clue Cards to Your Personality Treasure). In fact, Clue Card No. 2 ~ Two Ways: Messy or Neat, is one of 52 playing cards that teaches about our natural tendency to be either “Messy” or “Neat.” I teach this stuff. But having knowledge of “why” someone does something, doesn’t stop the behavior. I had hit bottom and was ready for a change.
Below: Personality-Ville (PV) Two (2) Clue Card. The Extrovert/Feeling Royal Circus card for organization (or the lack of it!) "It's exciting to start new projects all the time. I also may have two, or more of something, because I can't find it! I try and try to be neat. I never can on a regular basis." This is so me~Kimberly West.
You see, well... I might as well come out and just admit, “Hello, my name is Kimberly, and I have the Dragon of Defect--Messy Monster!” As much as I tried and failed to be neat; and as much as I understood my natural tendencies, I finally had to admit: I will never be neat. I have other talents, I told myself. I had to make some drastic changes in my life. I was so tired of taking endless hours and days cleaning up the same mess over and over, shuffling the same piles from here to there, and back. It also really affected my love life.
Many times we pair-up with our opposite. Let’s just say that if my boyfriend of 10 years, is a quiet data analyst, I would be the extroverted, fun one. Even though we are both pretty laid-back, my clutter was really getting to him. There always seemed to be big piles of laundry. And piles of dishes. I got so tired of hearing, “Where’s the forks; we never have any forks. Where’s the clean cups? How many dishes can you go through in one day?” And on it would go.
Now my boyfriend wasn’t super neat either. We both fought the clutter war. And finally, we have won the war: well, maybe a battle. I did something drastic. I hid almost all of our silverware and dishes. I said to myself, “Self, you live in a tiny house. You don’t even have enough room to have four people over for dinner at once. So really, how much do you need?”
So, I packed up the extra dishes and put them away. I kept two of everything else: plates, bowls, cups, etc. I gathered up all the silverware and “hid” it. I took out exactly four forks, spoons, butter knives, and two cutting knives. I figured it would last us about a day. Oh, and I put out our four best towels and hid the rest. I also got rid of every piece of clothes I didn’t wear on a regular basis. It was liberating, if not a little scary. I told him, we were going to pay a price for this in doing many more loads of laundry.
Below: PV Two (2) Clue Card. I recommend many times to strive to be like The Royal Observatory Folks~take on a few projects at a time. Then move on to the next one.
And do you know what? It worked. For the most part. We really were forced to stop and just do the damn dishes right away! It really doesn’t take that much time. It’s also been great having more room in the cupboard. No big piles of laundry, either. So the water bill did go up; we just kept washing the same clothes and towels over and over!
But I can’t celebrate complete success. One day, I got lazy and in answer to him yelling at me one more time, “Where the hell is a forking fork?” I broke down and got out the hidden stash of silverware. So, now it’s better, but not perfect.
Hey, isn’t that part of the Dragon Drool Anonymous 12 Steps sayings? “Progress, not perfection.”
Note: Dragon Drool Anonymous is a real “tongue-n-cheek” 12-step sharing game and part of the up-and-coming Personality-Ville Clubs.
Here are the other cards in the Clue Card Two set of Personality-Ville: 13 Clue Cards to your Personality Treasure deck.
Below: Extrovert-Thinking PV Two (2) Clue Card. "I need to organize things because of my Motto: Achieve. I am driven to achieve as much as possible, for as long as possible! Quantity!"
Below: Introvert-Feeling. "It just takes too much energy to have things all organized. And besides, I know where everything is. It's my 'system.'"
There actually is a Clutterers Anonymous; I just found it.
Important Personality-Ville Principle "In-Tune": T = Tolerance, U = Understanding, N = No, E = Excuses. Understanding someone's natural tendencies does not excuse bad behavior!
What are YOUR top tips? What's your messy or neat story? Any fun or helpful stories of others? What were your parents like?
There is a new way to determine what would be a good major for students. Where you live in “Personality-Ville” determines your natural career choice.
Which one gives you the most energy? The Royal Castle, The Royal Circus, The Royal Observatory, or The Royal Cottage? Each has its own motto, speed limit, and other preferences. (Castle=Motto: Achieve, Speed 100+. Circus=Motto: Play, Speed 80+. Observatory=Motto: Learn, Speed 47.5. Cottage=Motto: Relax Speed 40ish)
Below: Four Kingdoms of Personality-Ville
A student must know what, and how, their energy reserves get filled. Taking a personality style test usually can do this. However, many questions ask you, “Which choice do you usually make?” I think a better question would be, “What choice gives you the most energy?” This will lead you to your natural temperament. Example: When you are around a lot of people, do you feel energized? Introverts get energy from themselves—internally. Extroverts get energy from external ways, outside themselves. Think of introverts like a high quality Winnebago RV, they are “self-contained.”
Understanding this is paramount to what type of career you should go into. This has nothing to do with being “shy.” There are extroverts who get shy and introverts who are very self-confident. If you are an introvert and feel pushed to go into a field that say, your parents went into—head of a noisy, high-energy sales force—your energy reserves will be spent quickly.
An introvert must have access to quiet in order to replenish their energy reserves. Preferably, a place to be alone. This is a most basic, yet so important fact to know about yourself. It is an inborn quality that cannot be changed. Nor, should it be. According to personality style expert, Kimberly West, “Like a song of four-part harmony, each personality is needed.”
The same is true for an extrovert. West says, “I didn’t know that I was an extrovert; that I needed to be around people. I had the opportunity to go from a receptionist to the corporate cash manager for a Fortune 500 company, and I wasn’t going to say no to that advancement. I did very well; so well, I was inducted into Who’s Who of the West. The problem was, computers came along in the 1980s and I lost all interaction with my international and U.S. contacts. After I did everything on a new 'Wang Computer,' I would just melt away everyday and didn’t understand what was happening to me.”
West went on to say, "This was the main reason I became a speaker and an author. Being in front of people—while it made me a little nervous—energized me, big time! I loved to help others and would get a rush being in front of them and giving them important insights into their personality style.”
Personality-Ville is a new treasure map to visualize the four main personality temperaments. It’s a quick and easy way to “see” where you live in the kingdom. There are the two kingdoms of the Family of Extrovert: Castle or Circus. And two from the Family of Introvert: Observatory or Cottage. Each one is special and there are no “best” kingdoms. There also is a get-to-know-you sharing game that goes with the personality quiz.
Here's an "Open Letter" to all others not from our kingdom:
Greetings from the busy, important Royal Castle!
We get energy from being around people.
We are the ones that many times have a lot on our plate; we thrive on accomplishing our goals!
If we want to know something, we will talk with anyone near by. We are fearless that way. If you are from another Personality-Ville Kingdom (like from The Introvert Family) you would never talk to someone unless it meant something. In our kingdom, this is not the case. Don't get confused--most of the time we are just being super open and maybe even sarcastically funny to whoever is nearby!
We love to accomplish as much as possible. We also love to solve problems, and we have the energy to do just that. We make fast decisions and kinda assume you would want to know the solution. Sometimes, we will forget to ask if you do want to know, so it may seem like we are a "know-it-all." We think it's not about us, it's about the solution. That comes from living on the Thinking Side of Decision Drive~we base many things on facts. On the Feeling side, they might base a comment on how it might sound to others.
Because we go at such a fast pace, and sometimes we don't think before we speak, words just come out of our mouth~like a teenager! We don't like to hurt people's feelings, so if it sounded a little curt, just know most of the time our heart is in the right place!
We are in a hurry! We like to accomplish as much as possible for as long as possible. Quantity is our goal! Achieve is our Motto. So please get to the bottom-line, so we can save time. We are not into chit-chat. We are formal and quite private, unless it serves our goals; most things have to have a purpose.
If you want something done right away, call us. If are very busy, but most of the time, we can prioritize, delegate and somehow fit it all in. We do struggle with following the Four Motto Song: Relax, Learn, Achieve, Play, keeps your Dragons far away! We need someone strong to put their foot down and demand that we do other things than "Achieve" all the time. We will respect you for it (although we may grumble about it!)
Below: The 13 Clue Card from The Royal Castle
What else would YOU like others to know? Tell us in the Comments Section!
Here's an "Open Letter" to all others not from our kingdom:
Greetings from The Royal Cottage in Personality-Ville. We love living here where it is quiet and relaxing. In fact, that's our Motto: Relax. We want everyone to get along and be at peace. Conflict is really unheard of here.
Some of us have been the Royal Diplomat as we are peace-keepers. What we really hate is...change! Especially, fast change. Many of our mates and spouses are from the Family of Extrovert and they change plans all the time. It drives us nutty! Please, just simply asking us before hand if something is okay--and really willing to listen--"No I really don't want to," is super appreciated!
Be kind to us. We are not you, we are not from your kingdom. Remember our speed limit is 40ish. We can be somewhat flexible, especially if you prefer it for a while. But don't ask us to go at your break-neck speed all the time. We simply do not have the natural reserves of energy that you might have. Also, keep in mind that when we are around people (that could mean anywhere from 2+) this causes us to spend our precious Energy Coins. Ask us how much Energy Coins we have, and how much Energy would be spent by doing a certain activity.
Video Below: On your door, put up your personalized "Welcome Banner" that has a list of how you like to be treated!
From The Royal Observatory (Family of Introvert, from the Thinking Side of Decision Drive)
Here is an "Open Letter" to all others not from our kingdom:
Hello from the quiet, intense side of Personality-Ville. We love living here, following our motto: Learn. We love to achieve great things, but really like to learn all there is to know, to make the best quality. There are a few things we'd like others to know about us:
* We notice more than you know, we may just choose not to comment on everything.
* Our Energy Treasure Chests get filled up when we are alone. We like people, in fact we really enjoy a good one-to-one deep, thoughtful conversation. That's why we really don't like small-talk, it seems disingenuous. (8 Energy Card)
* It would be nice when you ask questions, to pause, then let us speak. We like to think what we are going to say, then speak. Thank you!
What else would YOU like others to know? Tell us in the Comments Section!
