Are You Wearing a "Personality Mask" with Your Spouse/Mate (VIDEO) November 01 2015, 0 Comments

Three Ways to See if You are Wearing a Mask

Below: Here's a quick video to introduce you to the four Personality-Ville kingdoms.

 1. Know thyself. First, you need to determine who the heck you really are! Understanding your true self--how you energize, make decisions, your natural internal speed--is the foundation for true authentic living. How can you even start to address if you are wearing a mask if you don't know your true, natural self. Taking a personality test can give you some results. But there's a twist. It's important to answer the questions not "as you usually do," but imagine yourself naturally living your life without any interference.

One way to get to your natural personality, is to think about how you would really like to live your life. If you had the money to live any way you want to, with no influence from family, friends, bosses, children or anyone else, how would you live? A definitive way is to pick the answer that gives you the most energy, not necessarily “how you normally” do something, but looking at how energizing it is. Also look at what the motivation is. Why are you doing it “that” way? 

2. Get to know each other’s true self in a fun, open way. One system that could be useful is a colorful symbolic "Treasure Map to Life" with four kingdoms that help you visualize abstract concepts. This map is of Personality-Ville and its kingdoms of the Royal Castle, Royal Circus, Royal Observatory, or Royal Cottage. Each one has its own musical tempo. Take the test as a couple and determine which kingdom is most like your natural style, the one that gives you the most energy. You find your natural part to Life’s Song. Sharing the results can bring a deep feeling of understanding between the two of you. Using this system by putting up the colorful map on a wall, can remind you to “take the mask off” and just live in your “natural kingdom.”

3. Understand that when you adjust your behavior to suit your mate, think of it as a song and you will sing "harmony" to their lead--sometimes. That's the key. Sometimes you sing lead and sometimes you sing harmony. According to, this is called "The Harmony Habit: Sing your part to Life's Song and adjust (harmonize) your actions when needed."

The book Personality-Ville: Treasure Map to Life has a practical section on why you might be wearing a mask and which personality kingdom might be a mask.